OKnLA

twas the day before christmas and - there's not a chance i'm going to keep that going. but it was christmas eve. and so my story begins... i woke up to a dirty kitchen. a kitchen that should have been cleaned by My Man (the fiance previously known as The Man but who has vetoed being called that forthwith and therefore is now named My Man) but was not. because he had already left for work i started to clean. i had baking to do! cookies for Santa could not be baked in a dirty kitchen. i picked up a glass and started to scrub. unfortunately, said glass had broken in the dish water. blood. everywhere. i ran around the apartment trying to remember where i'd put the first aid kit. being the intelligent unpacker i am, when deciding where to store the kit i'd thought "i don't use this very much, so no need to make it easily accessible." idiot!! it was on the tippie top shelf in the kitchen. i wrapped my poor bleeding finger in a paper towel- which was NOT sanitary

i'm giving up on grocery shopping once and for all. i'd like to do that. but i also enjoy eating. so after i throw a fit for the remainder of writing this post, i'm sure i'll start making my next grocery list. walk with me through this sad shopping saga: act I i realized that The Man would alternate pizza and nachos every other day and be completely content with life. i added a pasta meal and a few other ideas i knew we both would eat and went shopping based on the ingredients for each of those meals. after a few days i noticed that The Man was stopping at fast food restaurants in the neighborhood or not eating at all. 'there's nothing to eat,' he said. immediately i took offense. you mean the hundred bucks worth of food i bought is suddenly not edible? 'everything has to be cooked.' oh. kay. so we took a new approach. act II we went shopping as a team and bought several things that were (painfully processed, stuffed with sodium and preservatives and