Today I had a breakdown at work. Like a damn fool.
I had a horrible night, woke up exhausted, and decided to remain unplugged until I got to work. I wanted to take the morning slowly.
I arrived at the office, sat down in my first meeting and heard "I'm just so sad about the news. We're going to write a few things about Prince today, Doriean are you able to do that?"
So I'm sitting there like a dumbass asking "What happened?"
Then it hit me. Maybe that wasn't the flu that caused Prince's plane to land suddenly last week. Maybe something was really wrong.
Because he's gone.
So then I'm listening to my assignments, trying to wrap my brain around selecting the best Prince songs (impossible). I'm talking like nothing is happening but tears are streaming. My editor asks if I need a minute and I run to the bathroom and bawl like an infant.
I've been trying to listen to music all day. But nothing compares. And I can't listen to any Prince. I just can't. I've cried enough at the office today.
If you know me you've probably heard me say that Prince is the reason I'm alive. That's not just something I say to be funny. It's true. My mother LOVES Prince. One of my parents' early dates was a Prince show. I like to think he brought them closer together. And because Prince is sex and sex makes babies ... he's the reason I'm here today. I was raised on Michael, sure. And when he died I was devastated. But this is worse to me. I was raised with Michael, but I was smothered in Prince. The only Batman I know is Prince's Batman. The only time I watched New Girl was when Prince guest-starred (I really don't get that show). I was lowkey offended when Dave Chappelle poked fun at Prince's persona. I got over it because that shit was just too hilarious, though.
Musically, Prince means everything to me. He has never not been relevant. His abilities were limitless. What he could do with his guitar and his incredible range could set your very soul on fire. He was magic and fire and crushed velvet. He was royalty. He was the personification of sex. And he KNEW it. Not a woman, not a man, he was something you could never comprehend.
A few years back, Prince was playing shows and the tickets were only $25. I freaked OUT and asked all of my friends if they wanted to go with me. Zero of my LA friends were down to go.
It was then that I realized I needed new friends.
I also realized I was going to see Prince alone.
I drove to the pre-remodeled Forum, parked, and found my seat. Sheila E, my IDOL (I played percussion through middle and high school because I thought I would be her one day) opened with her family band. It was fantastic. And then Prince happened. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I didn't sit down for HOURS. He would play a set, leave the stage, and then reemerge with greatness. There was never enough. People were leaving (it was about 11 p.m. on a weeknight) but I couldn't understand. Prince. Wasn't. Finished. That man played well into the next day. I didn't get home until 2 a.m. His is still the best show I've ever been to.
I called my mother today. She's generally easy going about death. She believes, if we're saved, we go to a better place where there is no pain. When someone dies, she is happy for them. For the first time ever, I sensed anger in her voice. "No one knows what happened," she said to me. "The thing with the flu happened last week, and they waved it off. I wondered why they would have landed that dinky plane just because of the flu. Something happened but no one is saying anything." She loves Prince, and she's upset that he's gone.
For anyone who knows Prince because of Dave Chappelle or New Girl or that one step show where the Zetas played "When Doves Cry," get to know him better this weekend. Get to know his music on a deeper level. Feel the tingles down your spine at the end of "Purple Rain." Witness the majesty of "7." Loose your breath jumping around to "1999" and "Let's Go Crazy." Love yourself with "Diamonds and Pearls" or "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World." Get your freak on with "Cream," "Darling Nikki," and so many others. Just get to know him better so you truly understand that there will never be another like him.