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i'm back bitches.

did you ever realize you were living a lie?

a lie so convincing that you couldn't see it was a lie at all. in blissful denial you kept going day after day thinking life really was the way that it was. you believed the lie. and even when it all started crashing down around you, you continued to cling to it. flashing lights and big detour signs had no effect.

until everything went dark. and then you were all alone. and you realized it was all one big fat lie. the problem is that the lie was what you believed in - it was your life. and now it was all gone.

well that's what happened to me, and that's where i've been. but now i'm back to appease my clamoring public. i wish i could say it was my idea, but i'm back due to a great deal of pressure from parties i will not name at this time. this post and subsequent posts are part of an experiment.

i'll have you know that, one post in, i'm not doing well at the experiment. my assignment was simple: write. no restrictions, no instructions, not even suggestions. just to write without a plan or hesitation. easy right?

it has taken me an hour to start writing. i wanted a plan. i wanted a fantastic intro, a climax and a moral wrap up. i wanted a sitcom blog like my previous posts. back when i was pretending me and The Man were really going to work and pretending that Los Angeles was as spectacular as i'd always imagined and pretending that i didn't miss oklahoma just a little bit. i was pretending i was happy and i wanted to my blog to be as put together as the lie i was living.

this blog will not be put together. messyloudcrazyboringbeautifullazypointlessinformativerevealingenteratining me.

this experiment might kill me. or it could be the medicine i need.

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