All Of My Plants Are Dead

Mama always tells me I have a green thumb. Her plants would die one after the other during Oklahoma summers, but mine would thrive. They would just grow and grow... so she decided I had a green thumb and that I was good at growing things. And I believed her, like a dummy.

Fast forward to college when I killed my birth plant. My mother was given an ivy the day I was born (that's why it's my "birth plant"). I'd managed to keep it alive for 21 years and then it just died, one leaf at a time withered away until it was nothing but a brown stalk. I had no idea why this had happened. I'd left it in my dorm room for just one week, healthy as ever. When I returned it started to die. This was the beginning of the end.

Since then I haven't been able to keep any plant alive longer than a season. I've killed more green babies than I'd care to mention. And I don't understand why. Why have I failed my mother's prophecy? When did my green thumb turn black? Perhaps it's a family curse. Maybe once we reach a certain age, Shute women can no longer cultivate life from soil.

But, but but – California is supposed to be one of the best places to grow plants because the weather is always perfect.

"Perfect"

It's been ridiculously hot this summer. We're in a drought that becomes more serious by the hour. I'd love to have an herb garden, but I can't even manage to keep basil alive. Of the six plants I bought when we moved into our new apartment in April, only the succulent remains. That's the only plant that could weather the blazing San Fernando Valley heat.

So my options at this point are either to resign myself to a garden of cacti, or to fight the odds and (possibly) continue to murder plantlife. It's my dream to start an herb garden that my neighbors could borrow from. An herb garden would be so beneficial. I even wrote an article about how simple herbs are to grow (hehe).

Maybe the herb garden could be my last hurrah before I buy a bunch of spiky plants and call it a day. I'll let you know how it goes.

Comments

Cold War Kids iHeart Radio Album Release Party - My Quick Opinions

I've seen the Cold War Kids twice now, and my favorite thing about seeing them is they love to let people see them for free in Los Angeles. A free show is always the right idea. This time I got to see them at the iHeart Radio stage in Burbank, California. It's a very cool space, and the staff is super nice. Part of this iHeart Radio streaming party was a line of questioning from iHeart Radio personality. It was cool to hear lead singer Nathan Willett talk about his love for Los Angeles and desire to use their new album, LA Divine, to set the record straight about the city's perception. He told Billboard the album is "the best version of what [they've] always done," and I agree. There's nothing particularly outstanding about the new album. There's no new, adventurous sound. The freshest thing about LA Divine is the effect the tumultuous year that was 2016 had on the lyrics. For example, Nathan told an amazing story about an art piece in New ...

Mrs. without the "r."

Of course I'm a feminist. Not that that needs explaining, but I absolutely believe in equal treatment and opportunities for both sexes. But being a feminist doesn't mean I burn bras every Tuesday night. I still adhere to a number of not-so-feminist-friendly traditions. For example, I hate taking the trash out. That's a "man's" job. I take the trash out when I must, but if I can ask Jersey Mike to do it , well that's just 10 times better. Typically, for me, a man's job is any job I don't want to do. Maybe that's not quite a tradition (more me leaning on societal norms to feed my laziness). But there's one tradition that, growing up, I always thought I'd be fine: Taking my husband's last name. My mother kept her maiden name when she married my father. She was born a Shute and felt that shouldn't have to change just because she found a cool guy to spend her life with. Growing up it wasn't confusing for me u...

Nothing Will Replace Gossip Girl, But Riverdale Is Close or Teen Shows I've Watched Lately

Each day I live and breathe, I'm inching closer to a time when I will no longer understand and will therefore lose the capacity to truly love a teen drama. But I'm not there yet, and I'm (still) searching for something to fill the void Gossip Girl left when it was revealed that Lonely Boy was the one putting the words in Kristin Bell's mouth. Gossip Girl first aired after an episode of America's Next Top Model. I remember this because my mother and I used to watch ANTM together in the days before girls started auditioning just so they could meet Tyra. But neither of us could leave the room once Gossip Girl's pilot began. We were both hooked immediately, and it would be a show we enjoyed together even after I left home for another city hours away, and then another state halfway across the country. GG was corny at times, and it had its pitfalls (how did Chuck Bass start Season 1 by trying to rape little Jenny and end it by kicking off what would become ...

OKnLA

Search This Blog