Boyfriend Shaming

I'm so guilty.

I've always been a bit of a boyfriend shamer. I shame people for having cute relationships and loving their boyfriends a little too much. I shame myself for loving my boyfriend even a little bit. I shame my boyfriend for being amazing.

All of these things are wrong and I am so disgusted with myself. It makes no sense.

I do not trust men. I've had this problem all of my life and I'm not sure where it came from. I have an incredible, loving father and grandfather. I had spectacular male role models growing up and today. But somehow I've been taught to never, ever, under any circumstances trust a man. In an effort to always keep my distance I shame.

I'm constantly team break-up. Did he cheat on you? Break up with him. Did he lie? Break up with him. Oh he got you carnations instead of roses? Break up with him. I honestly consider breaking up with my boyfriend for the tiniest infractions. Sometimes even for what I think he might do someday. That's not fair and I know it. But I can't stop these feelings. I can't keep myself from punishing us both because of my fears and distrust.

Am I the only crazy lady that acts this way? We live in a world where women are belittled and mistreated on the regular, and there are men who deserve to be directed to the left. As women we fight for the right to be heard and fairly treated. We battle the bad guys and what they stand for constantly. But there are good men, too. There are men that respect us and hold us in high regard. There are men that love with everything they have. There are men who deserve to be loved right back, appreciated, and – if they falter – forgiven.

For all of you who know me well, I'm sure you've already told me that I need to lighten up, and be OK with being in love. It's uber difficult for me. But I'm going to try it. For every sabotaging thought, I'm going to replace it with admiration. I'm going to remember why Jersey Mike turns me all the way on and why I'm so impressed with him as a human being. Perhaps slowly I can trade from team break up to team give love a chance.

Comments

Cold War Kids iHeart Radio Album Release Party - My Quick Opinions

I've seen the Cold War Kids twice now, and my favorite thing about seeing them is they love to let people see them for free in Los Angeles. A free show is always the right idea. This time I got to see them at the iHeart Radio stage in Burbank, California. It's a very cool space, and the staff is super nice. Part of this iHeart Radio streaming party was a line of questioning from iHeart Radio personality. It was cool to hear lead singer Nathan Willett talk about his love for Los Angeles and desire to use their new album, LA Divine, to set the record straight about the city's perception. He told Billboard the album is "the best version of what [they've] always done," and I agree. There's nothing particularly outstanding about the new album. There's no new, adventurous sound. The freshest thing about LA Divine is the effect the tumultuous year that was 2016 had on the lyrics. For example, Nathan told an amazing story about an art piece in New ...

Mrs. without the "r."

Of course I'm a feminist. Not that that needs explaining, but I absolutely believe in equal treatment and opportunities for both sexes. But being a feminist doesn't mean I burn bras every Tuesday night. I still adhere to a number of not-so-feminist-friendly traditions. For example, I hate taking the trash out. That's a "man's" job. I take the trash out when I must, but if I can ask Jersey Mike to do it , well that's just 10 times better. Typically, for me, a man's job is any job I don't want to do. Maybe that's not quite a tradition (more me leaning on societal norms to feed my laziness). But there's one tradition that, growing up, I always thought I'd be fine: Taking my husband's last name. My mother kept her maiden name when she married my father. She was born a Shute and felt that shouldn't have to change just because she found a cool guy to spend her life with. Growing up it wasn't confusing for me u...

Nothing Will Replace Gossip Girl, But Riverdale Is Close or Teen Shows I've Watched Lately

Each day I live and breathe, I'm inching closer to a time when I will no longer understand and will therefore lose the capacity to truly love a teen drama. But I'm not there yet, and I'm (still) searching for something to fill the void Gossip Girl left when it was revealed that Lonely Boy was the one putting the words in Kristin Bell's mouth. Gossip Girl first aired after an episode of America's Next Top Model. I remember this because my mother and I used to watch ANTM together in the days before girls started auditioning just so they could meet Tyra. But neither of us could leave the room once Gossip Girl's pilot began. We were both hooked immediately, and it would be a show we enjoyed together even after I left home for another city hours away, and then another state halfway across the country. GG was corny at times, and it had its pitfalls (how did Chuck Bass start Season 1 by trying to rape little Jenny and end it by kicking off what would become ...

OKnLA

Search This Blog